


I Never Thought

by Fandoms_take_the_wheel



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_take_the_wheel/pseuds/Fandoms_take_the_wheel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas was sent into the maze long before the events of the book, he was there almost as long as Newt.<br/>Newt and him fell in love.<br/>Instead of Newt trying to commit suicide, he succeeded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please give it a chance? I'm horrible at bios :(  
> Listen to 'All I Want' by Kodaline while reading?

'All I want is nothing more  
To hear you knocking at my door  
'cause if i could see your face once more  
I could die as a happy man I'm sure'

I never thought you would do it.

Not even when I saw you grasping the vines that grew up the walls of that maze, that god-awful maze.

Not even when I saw you fall did I think that any of this was real.

I never thought you would do it.

I never thought you would do something like this.

Of course I new you had your troubles, so did I, we all did.

I never thought you would do it.

I never thought you would be so desperate for an escape that you would actually do it.

I still don't believe that you're gone.

I miss you Newt, I miss you so shucking much.

'When you said your last goodbye  
I died a little bit inside  
I lay in tears in bed all night  
Alone without you by my side'

My dreams are back.

Though they never really left but I guess you helped me forget.

My dreams, or rather my nightmares, always begin the that shucking box and now they always end with you, your voice, your last few words.

"I'm so sorry Tommy, I'm so sorry"

The few words repeat through my head, your voice so sad, so desperate for forgiveness.

I always sleep in your bed now, clutching your pillow, crying myself to sleep.

In my dreams I always wake just before you hit the ground of the glade.

I always wake to realize that you really are gone, that I'll never get you back.

I miss you Newt, I miss you so shucking much.

'But if you loved me  
Why'd you leave me?  
Take my body  
Take my body  
All I want is,  
And all I need is  
To find somebody.  
I'll find somebody like you'

Why Newt? Why did you do it? Why did you leave me alone in this hell-hole? 

I guess it's to late to figure out your answer now.

I loved you Newt, I still do.

I needed you Newt and I still do.

'So you brought out the best of me,  
A part of me I've never seen.  
You took my soul and wiped it clean.  
Our love was made for movie screens'

I will always cherish my time with you in the Glade & I'll never forget you.

You always helped me forget about the maze, the grievers, that shucking box that dragged us all up here, and I will be for ever greatful of that.

You showed me how to live.

I still try to do that but it's hard without you.

Some of the Gladers refuse to believe that you're actually gone.

They hope it's just a sick joke.

I hope they're right.

And to tell you the truth I wouldn't even be mad at you if it was.

I just miss you Newt and I want you back, I want you to come back to me.

'But if you loved me  
Why'd you leave me?  
Take my body,  
Take my body.  
All I want is  
And all I need is  
To find somebody.  
I'll find somebody'

It's been a long while since you left me.

I visit your grave every single day.

I tell you about mine and Minho's findings in the maze, I tell you stories about the other Gladers, I tell you about the fragments of my memories that I get back now and then.

But no matter what I talk to you about I always, always end up crying. sobbing for you to come back to me.

I loved you Newt and I still do.


	2. I Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 years later I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t own maze runner or any of the characters and so on and so forth  
> im bad at grammar and all that still btw  
> AU kinda I guess

I stood there staring at your name carved into the wall of the maze, it surrounded but the names of all those who had entered it, our brothers.  
Your once neat and clear name now boring a prominent line through it. I reach out lightly brushing my fingers across it, the touch causing me to flinch back as your face sears through my memories. A voice, your voice flashing through my mind, "I'm so sorry Tommy, I'm so sorry". I still remember it. I still remember it filled with a tone I'd never heard you use before... your voice was desperate, desperate for forgiveness, broken. And I do Newt, I do forgive you. I miss you even more.

It's been 3 years Newt, can you believe it? You'd be so proud Newt, we got out. We lost so many in the fight, including you. But those of us who survived will never forget you, any of you. I know if it was up to you Newt we'd never return the this 'hell-hole', as I used to call it, again but we come back every year. Not all the memories here were bad. We visit every year to to reminisce, to laugh, to cry, to remember. 

I still love you Newt and I still miss you and adapting to life outside the maze has been hard without you, almost impossible but I'll get there with the help of our brothers. 

I love you Newt and I miss you.   
I'll see you next year, I promise x


End file.
